so my life sucks really bad right now. edd told me on friday which was our 2 month that he didnt think he was over his ex. ouch right? and he told me that he wanted to figure a bunch of shit out like gettin a new job and his rent is due soon and he wanted to get his car fixed. so this whole past weekend i was a total mess. i cried pretty much non stop. and it hurt even more to find out that he spent some of it with her. so i went to talk to him today and he said he was still really confused and this is the first time in 3 years that hes able to think for himself cause when he was with her he didnt. so i asked him if he still wanted to be on a break and still b together and he said yea but at the end of the convo he said that he thought maybe we should just break up for now so he can figure stuff out. he said he thought about me and stuff, but hes just still confused. i mean, i cant be mad but it sucks cause these past two months have been amazing and i havent been that happy in a long time. but if what we had was bad, then i wouldnt b so upset, so this whole thing with him came outta nowhere basically. so now i dont have him to call mine, shes still with her bf and shit but who knows. he said he me today that he heard that i heard that his ex broke up with her bf and that hes trying to get back with her and he said no that wasnt happening. and i said well do u wanna b with her and he just said i dunno. but his best friend said that if he chooses to be with her, hes making a worst mistake of his life cause she treated him so badly. so i have no idea whats gunna happen from here. maybe we'll get back together, or he'll be with her, or he just will be alone. i have no clue. but im just hoping that he wants to be with me. i miss him so much and im head over heels for him. i dont wanna completely lose him, but i feel like that's what its coming to. i told him id give him his space and time to figure it all out but you never know how long that'll take. so im pretty much still a sitting duck. i dont wanna find anyone else cause i thought he was it. i thought we'd b together for a while. the only person who can help me now is God, and i really hope he does. please keep me in your prayers because i feel like ive been torn apart and i dunno what to do with myself..

currently playing: Hoku - Nothing In This World