aimeeluv77's Xanga

Monday, February 26, 2007

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 22:20:22 GMT

okay so fuck talking about a guy, yea i have a new bf but im not spilling on here about it cause everytime i do, it doesnt work out a month later and i jinx myself. no, im talking about fucking fake ass bitches that i cannot fucking stand anymore. you cant be my friend if youre not my friend, and if u shun me over a stupid fuckin rumor from a fatass piece of shit, then you werent my friend in the first place. people say shit, stop fucking crying about it and being pissy about it, and get the fuck over it. the thing that pisses me off is the fact that i have many friends in south philly and i brought friends from up here to chill down there, and after all this BULLSHIT happened, they still go down there without me. i mean yea its a free country and all, but if it wasnt for me, they wouldnt fuckin know shit about sp. and another thing, the friends i made down there that dont talk to me no more cause theyre petty too, are the people that the "friends" from up here chill with. HELLO!!! theyre NOT your friends. they wouldnt do anything for you. what else do yous go out and do besides for drinking? do you have sleepovers and paint each others nails or just hang out and watch a movie? NO. yous are just drinking buddies. and if this offends anyone, fuck you cause i dont give a flying fuck. not like anyone reads xanga anymore, but if it got stumbled upon, i dont care. im really considering not being friends with one of the persons from up here, even tho we made up and everything is "cool" now. if i was youre real good friend, you wouldnt have ignored me for two weeks and lied to me about what you were doing. yea so i said shit here and there, big deal everyone has an opinion, but youre a hypocrite too. if you havent said shit about someone, then throw a fuckin stone at me. hmm, you cant. youre just as guilty as I, and so is everyone else. im just tired of hearing "oh i went to shamrock" when it wasnt you and I that were hanging out. it shouldnt bother me but it does. and i think its real shitty that you get all wasted beyond belief and drive 45 minutes to get home. thats it. im done.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 05:30:37 GMT

well who thought i would even think of writing in xanga anymore; it basically died. but sometimes you just gotta get out how you feel in writing, and myspace is definately not the place to do that. i can trust my xanga cause yea, no one looks at this anymore. i was reading my previous entries and how i wrote in them, i feel as if i was writing like a 14 year old. like all giddy and happy about a cute guy and stuff. ive learned alot in the past several months and ive grown alot too. im not much different but theres still some things i wanna change, with some of my family for example. well, the real reason i resorted to my xanga, is to write about my boyfriend mike. i met him thru my friend josh and his cousins who josh and i are friends with. its a big group of friends. anywho, i met him at the pub he bartends at and one night after knowin each other for basically the whole summer, we had kissed. and it was one of those weak in the knees, sends chills down my spine kisses. and the way i felt after that, was a way i havent felt for a long time. i felt that way the first time i fell in love, and we all know who im talking about. so after we kissed, i felt nervous but so trusting, almost as if i knew that if i let myself fall for him, that he would be right there to catch me. usually im the first person to jump in and profess my feelings, but this time, this one and only time, it wasnt me.. it was him. that made me feel even more comfortable and sure of my feelings because we both felt this incredible feeling. so we have been a couple for about 3 weeks or so, maybe a little bit more, and its been spectacular. honestly, i could not ask for more. i never knew guys like him existed. now i dont wanna sound like a broken record cause ive raved about every boyfriend that ive dated, but this guy, mike; he's so different. its so hard for me to explain but everytime i see his name come up on my phone, and everytime he catches my eye, i get butterflies in my stomach, and i get this overwhelming feeling. this relationship is fairly new, but i feel like ive known him all my life. i feel like these past few weeks have been so much longer, and i can honestly say i was scared to feel it, and let someone have my heart, but i know he wont break it. theres a few complications thrown in as of right now in his life that he needs to handle, but i know how he feels about me and that little notion just lifts my spirits. i can only think about the future, and how amazing it will be. just the thought of him makes me smile. and i love how when im with him, i feel so safe, like he wants to take care of me. i was talking to someone a while ago, and i said that if i were to meet the guy im going to spend the rest of my life with, i would be ready. ive been thru the whole bar scene for the past 2 years, and i cant really see it changing much when i turn 21. now im not saying im positive that he is the one, but i would love him to be. all i know is that i could not be luckier and happier at this moment in time. and i am so freaaaakin happy that our paths crossed.

well whoever it was that read this tremendously long entry, i was just gettin my sappy feelings out, kinda confiding in my diary. but hey thanks for readin.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Tue, 21 Feb 2006 22:04:33 GMT

well, surprisingly, things have calmed down. for a while i was supposedly gunna "get my ass kicked" or something like that, but i havent heard bull from any of those people that i want nothing to do with. drama is not my department so im gunna stick with staying away from it, cause i dont wanna know about it. if only i knew how things woulda turned out in the end when i said i'd be edd's girlfriend, cause then i woulda said hell no. but you can never tell those things so, all i can say is that everything turns out the way it should in the end. people make mistakes and ultimately learn from them, so hopefully i can be a better judge of character and listen to my family from now on. i dont regret this whole big mess, cause it was a learning experience and i dont regret what i do, only what i dont do. so now i can breathe easy and not have to be caught up in any silly petty drama anymore. well i hope i didnt speak too soon, but i think its safe to say that its all over.

Currently Playing: Mariah Carey - Can't Take That Away

Monday, January 30, 2006

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 23:44:51 GMT

so my life sucks really bad right now. edd told me on friday which was our 2 month that he didnt think he was over his ex. ouch right? and he told me that he wanted to figure a bunch of shit out like gettin a new job and his rent is due soon and he wanted to get his car fixed. so this whole past weekend i was a total mess. i cried pretty much non stop. and it hurt even more to find out that he spent some of it with her. so i went to talk to him today and he said he was still really confused and this is the first time in 3 years that hes able to think for himself cause when he was with her he didnt. so i asked him if he still wanted to be on a break and still b together and he said yea but at the end of the convo he said that he thought maybe we should just break up for now so he can figure stuff out. he said he thought about me and stuff, but hes just still confused. i mean, i cant be mad but it sucks cause these past two months have been amazing and i havent been that happy in a long time. but if what we had was bad, then i wouldnt b so upset, so this whole thing with him came outta nowhere basically. so now i dont have him to call mine, shes still with her bf and shit but who knows. he said he me today that he heard that i heard that his ex broke up with her bf and that hes trying to get back with her and he said no that wasnt happening. and i said well do u wanna b with her and he just said i dunno. but his best friend said that if he chooses to be with her, hes making a worst mistake of his life cause she treated him so badly. so i have no idea whats gunna happen from here. maybe we'll get back together, or he'll be with her, or he just will be alone. i have no clue. but im just hoping that he wants to be with me. i miss him so much and im head over heels for him. i dont wanna completely lose him, but i feel like that's what its coming to. i told him id give him his space and time to figure it all out but you never know how long that'll take. so im pretty much still a sitting duck. i dont wanna find anyone else cause i thought he was it. i thought we'd b together for a while. the only person who can help me now is God, and i really hope he does. please keep me in your prayers because i feel like ive been torn apart and i dunno what to do with myself..

currently playing: Hoku - Nothing In This World

Monday, January 23, 2006

Mon, 23 Jan 2006 21:47:31 GMT

i am so sick of drama. i dont know why its following me, its so gay. i hate that im not "allowed" to hang out with a certain person because other people had a bad past with them. i have respect for people but give me a break. its almost ridiculous cause thats that past and has NOTHING to do with me. let me be a big girl and form my own opinions. im just tired of it, and i feel like everybody expects so much from me. im only one person, i can only do so much. yea i wanna help people out but sometimes things come up, sometimes you get sick and spend a whole day and night throwing up and crapping. it sounds kinda funny, but im not laughing right now. im sorry i cant always be that shoulder everyone needs to lean on. sometimes i just cant live up to that. its not my fault, im only human. im not perfect, so what do you expect? i kinda just wanna go into hibernation for a while so maybe people will just forget about me for a while. i know that sounds bad but i just cant take it anymore. i need a breath of fresh air and i feel like im suffocating. im not saying no one can rely on me, because you can. you just cant help stuff sometimes. and maybe right now my priorities are outta whack but i can easily kick em back in. i just gotta realize it and change it. i just cant stand when people are pissed at me for things i cant control. im sorry if i dissapoint and im sorry im not such a strong shoulder. i guess i cant do anything right...

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Wed, 07 Dec 2005 22:10:29 GMT

yay i finally got a puppy!! last wednesday me and my mom went to the pet shop and we saw this cute little chihuahua and right then i knew that he was the one for me. so friday we picked him up along with all his stuff and now hes home sweet home. we named him Toby, hes so cute and he loves to cuddle, and he gets so funny when hes playing, he hops around and yaps. hes my little boy other than that, ive been workin and tryin to do some christmas shopping but im so incredibly broke, so my closest friends will have to wait until after the holiday when im not so poor. i wanna be able to get nice stuff for my friends (that means you!) when i have a little more dough, instead of me tryin to rub two pennies together. so im only shoppin for my immediate family. my mom, dad, and my cousin joel are the only ones who are done. i gotta get something for brian, audrey, the boyfriend, my grandmom, and i think that mite be it. a $300 limit on a credit card really isnt much to work with,not to mention i already spent 200 of it on presents only for my family, and im not even half way done. it sucksnot having money. i start at ulta next week so im hopin that ill have 2 paychecks b4 christmas, and if i do then i can get stuff for my friends. life is complicated. anyways, im hungry so im gunna go stuff my face. soon...

currently playing: REO Speedwagon - Can't FIght This Feeling

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 01:28:52 GMT

well no worries about choosing which boy i like better cause the situation worked itself out on its own. edd asked me out on sunday nite and of course i said yes! but then i was like oh crap, what am i supposed to say to danny? i hate being the one to break things off with another person, but he called me yesterday and said that he wanted to fix the confusion and the awkwardness by just being friends. how crazy is that? i thought that was so weird how that happened. i wasnt sure how he felt about me but now i guess i know that he wasnt very serious at all. i think i made him a little nervous at times. haha, anyways, im really glad things worked out with edd cause i really like him alot. hes fun, goofy, funny, random, spontaneous, really sweet, and he makes me really happy. i couldnt ask for a better guy. i really want me and him to last, im so ready to settle down with one person. i was gettin so tired of bouncing from one guy to another. but i guess it is worth it to kiss all those frogs to finally get to your prince..

currently playing: the dan band - total eclipse of the heart

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Sat, 19 Nov 2005 11:44:02 GMT

a curve ball has been thrown.. cant say that im upset about it by any means, but lets just say that it makes things a little more difficult. since when does krista ever have two awesome guys in her life at the same time. both have the same style, awesome personalities, love chillin with them (not at the same time), can be myself, all that good stuff that u want with another person. but why two at the same time?! what am i gunna do. crap.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 00:40:46 GMT

well i havent written in a long ass time so i decided to update and such. im workin at ALDO in the willow grove mall and i flippin love it! i never thought i would work somewhere with awesome people (especially my manager) and just love going to work. besides for that, ive been spending my weekends at marg's in south philly, and its really become a second home for me (besides for ashley ad lauras of course). i love going down there! i went to penn state for the weekend and i really missed philly and going to the bar and hanging out with the philly chicks. and penn state btw, SUCKED that weekend. just trust me, im not ready to go back cause im afraid it'll suck again. but if i do go with ashley im entitled to an awesome time. i would go this weekend with her but i gotta work unfortunately on saturday nite plus i wanna see danny so for those of you who are wondering who danny is, hes an awesome 2nd street boy that ive noticed ever since i started stayin down there with marg. hes totally my type of guy and hes so cool to chill with. we got alot in common and stuff and i love kissing him its a good time haha! but he just got out of a 5 year relationship that ended all because his ex didnt wanna bf anymore and wanted to be single, so i can totally understand his broken heart and not wanna rush into something new, thats why im willing to wait for something more to happen hopefully. its been hard for me lately to really like someone soon because so many times ive done that, ive just been asking for a disaster. so im kinda nervous about this guy, but i think everything will work out. PLUS, this sounds crazy and whatnot, but he never dreams. ya know how some people just dont dream or they think they dont dream when they really do and just dont remember at all? well the night we met and talked for 2 hours on a stoop next to doc's, that night he dreamt. i think that says something. AND hes always saying 'this shit never happens to me'. well guess what bucko, it is now and its happening for a reason. theres a reason why we didnt talk until now, theres a reason why he dreamt that night we met, theres a reason for everything. i think it kinda freaks him out a bit cause hes just not used to this and hes nervous for something new to happen. i can understand that too if it was me. but hes sooo my type of guy which ive been searching for since i dont even know when. he has tattoos everywhere, hes a t-shirt hoodie and sneakers guy, likes awesome music, and hes sooo cute and has the most gorgeous blue eyes. and hes a good kisser too haha! had to put that in. so yea, im takin things slow right now, which i think is really good for me cause jumping into a relationship is just bound for failure. so slow is good. well i think i about done, gotta finish laundry and maybe go out with jen livezey, ryan and some of his homies haha. hopefully i wont take too too long to write back. soon...

Friday, September 09, 2005

Fri, 09 Sep 2005 18:21:21 GMT

okay, so saturday i went up to kutztown to visit ashalee which was fun even tho we didnt do much. damn coppers breakin up the parties we wanna party at! grr! but we just hung out with her friend ashley and her friends, it was a good time.. so then sunday i did my friend kim's hair all funky with blonde brown and red chunks, it looked awesome! im so awesome lol jk. well, i reely wanna break up with my boyfriend cause i dont like him anymore cause hes a jerk. okay now ladies, would you stay with a guy who doesnt compliment you, doesnt make you feel wanted, breaks plans with you to go out with his friends, hardly ever calls you, makes you take him to his friends bar in the city to hang out with his friends WHILE yous were already hanging out AND THEN makes you pick him up in the city from the suburbs the next day????? can we say this guy is a little ridiculous?? and when i bring up my feelings of how i dont feel important, he asks when he makes me feel like that and gets mad! um.. DUH! wake up! all the time! yea so i definately gotta break up with him, i dont even wanna kiss him anymore. eww.. i hate being the breaker upper, i feel so mean. oh well, i guess i gotta do it either way. no use staying miserable in a relationship that sucks. anywho, im gunna get showered and stuffs and then im off to see sir elton john!!!! soon...